The Life and Times of Mittens Romney

An automobile executive and an aspiring actress welcomed Willard Mittens Romney to the world on March 12th, 1947. Devout Mormons living in Detroit, the couple raised five children –  including little Mittens – while attaining great fame and fortune. In the early 1960s Papa Romney became the 43rd Governor of Michigan. Aspiring to emulate the success of his father, Mittens soon left for Stanford University and, after leading a counter protest against an anti-draft sit-in, spent 30 months in France on missionary work.

I could continue, but I’m pretty sure you know how to use Wikipedia to find out more about the Life and Times of Mittens Romney. What I’m here to do is expose this Bankster-minion for the sellout scumbag he is. And I shall succeed.

It’s actually kinda hard to talk trash about Mittens. Look at him. A striking jawline. A twinkle in his eye. The best hair. Ever. He even donates tens of millions to his Church. He’s so damn Presidential you would have thought he came out of central casting. Funny you should say that…..

Didn’t I just mention something about his mother being an actress?…..

It’s not easy to hate on a man with Perfect Hair like Mittens. That is, of course, unless you actually look at what he does, says, and represents. Once you do that it’s pretty easy to call him a traitorous bitch***

***For the record –  I do not espouse violence against any man or women, let alone a potential Presidential candidate. This shall serve as disclaimer against charges that I call for violence against The System. I find this disclaimer necessary; the Department of Homeland Security has confirmed that it monitors all internet activity in the United States to identify domestic terrorists. It’s important to put this in writing lest I be disappeared under the new National Defense Authorization Act, a piece of legislation which allows for the secret and indefinite detention of any US Citizen deemed a threat. I prefer to not be disappeared.

I’ll begin with Mittens‘ chicken hawk warmongering. Nothing is more disgusting than a man who dodges military service yet supports the continuation and expansion of illegal wars overseas. Mittens is one of these men. As previously declared by the Great Wikipedia, Mittens was involved in protests against students who were objecting to the Vietnam draft while attending Stanford. Such a draft would never affect him, of course, so it was easy to sharpen his pro-war rhetoric without fear of personal harm.

It’s possible that he was just an ignorant young man who thought war was like the movies; a lot of people get caught up in the propaganda when they’re young, myself included. Yet fast forward to forty years after Vietnam and it’s clear to see that nothing has changed. Still insulated from the cold meaning of the term “War is Hell”, Presidential Candidate Mittens isn’t reversing course and bringing the troops home. No, instead of flipping the bird to the Banksters and telling them to commandeer another nation’s military for their pillaging, Mittens is all about carrying out their plans of death and destruction using American blood and treasure. The corporate presstitute media will talk about the Super Bowl halftime show or Whitney Houston’s OD for days, but they won’t call out Mittens and the other chicken hawks for being traitorous bitches?***

***See disclaimer above

“The right course for America is to realize we are under attack. These people have declared war on us, they have killed Americans, we go anywhere they are and we kill them”.

Mittens Romney, Fox News Presidential Debate, January 19th, 2012

Just because Mittens wants to attack Iran and keep the troops in Afghanistan to facilitate the smuggling of billions of dollars in opium doesn’t necessarily disqualify him as a potential President. It should, but it doesn’t. Luckily, Mittens is a superb multitasker, so we have many more issues to choose from. Drumroll please….for the next topic….I select….


It’s no secret that the American healthcare system is on the verge of a total breakdown. Insurance rates are rising, quality of care is dropping, and the Baby Boomers are getting older (and sicker). The life expectancy of the average American now ranks 50th in the world, a pathetic showing in spite of the fact that the country’s healthcare spending outstrips all other countries – by far. This short article of mine highlights the fact that we’re fatter, sicker, and more doped up than ever before. My profession is based on the healthcare system, and as a former workers’ compensation adjuster I have personally seen the pressure building on the system for several years now. We need to do something to fix healthcare before it’s too late.

Adding trillions of dollars worth of bureaucratic red tape is not going to fix healthcare before it’s too late.

God Bless bureaucrats. They try hard. Most of them don’t, but for arguments  sake let’s assume that they do. Even if one were to give government workers the benefit of the doubt with respect to their work ethic it still doesn’t change the fact that their work product is extremely inefficient and wasteful. Perhaps you have experienced government customer service while sitting next to a crying baby for two and a half hours in the waiting room of the local DMV. If you have flown lately you might have witnessed the effectiveness of the TSA; Personally, I was rather impressed with their professionalism as they groped a wheelchair-bound grandmother in front of me at Chicago O’Hare a couple years back. I felt safe. Maybe you have heard of the $600 ‘toilet seat covers’ or $425 ‘hammers’ that the Pentagon purchased awhile back? I can keep going, but I think you get the point: Government is not very good at providing goods and services. Ask some Chinese or North Korean peasants how well the government takes care of them.

Don’t tell that to Mittens though! Government will fix healthcare, you wait and see!

Just about everyone has heard of ObamaCare but not all know that MittensCare served as the framework for Obama’s systematic takeover of more than 1/6th of America’s economy. It’s true – As Governor of Massachusetts Mittens signed “The Massachusetts Health Care Insurance Reform Law, St. 2006, c.58t”, also known as RomneyCare, which mandated the purchase of health insurance by all residents and businesses. President Barack Hussein Obama used this as a model for his fascist Obamacare monstrosity. As an aside, I hope this serves as an example of how the Republican and Democratic parties work together to undermine America for the benefit of the Banksters and their MegaCorporations. For brevity’s sake I’ll leave my discussion of the failings of universal (government) healthcare for a future article. For now take my word that ObamaCare, inspired by MittensCare, will cost each and every one of us dearly if we fail to repeal it immediately. If we don’t, prepare for massive rate hikes, rationing of services, implementation of the notorious ‘death panels’, and a quickening of the collapse of America’s health and prosperity. You have been warned. I don’t know how to fix the system (I have some ideas) and I doubt any one person has all the answers. Still, don’t you think we might want to get input from actual doctors as opposed to the corporate minion of the Banksters?

Naw…no reason to listen to Dr. Ron Paul and his ilk…just do what the insurance companies tell you to do, Mittens/Obama.

Drumroll please….for the next topic….I select….

CEO Romney!

It’s no secret that Mittens has a shit ton of money. His 2011 tax returns revealed that his estimated net worth is in the neighborhood of $250 million. I was referred to the aptly named website; you should check it out if you want a true sense of Mittens’ wealth. When you’re done seeing how your paycheck compares to Mittens’ please be sure to read the disclaimer at the bottom of the site. If you don’t understand why increasing taxes on the rich will destroy what’s left of the American economy, please read one of my prior articles before going forward.

It’s imperative to reiterate the fact that we cannot attack the one-percent. The majority of the very wealthy make their money legitimately through skill, effort, and plain luck. For every Bankster-minion taken out by the ninety-nine percent in a class revolt there’d be a dozen innocent people destroyed – the same people who earned their money by building America to the superpower it is today. Trillions of dollars of bona fide American Wealth sucked from her coffers all while the real perpetrators of economic collapse, the Banksters themselves, sit offshore and laugh at the subsequent Civil War.

No, as I wrote in the above article, there are other ways to right the wrongs of the Banksters without sacrificing our free-market Republic. So, I’m not going to talk trash about how Mittens made his fortune. Without going into a whole other tirade, know that Romney’s past as the founder and CEO of financial chop-shop Bain Capital did serve a necessary role in the economy. Well, ‘in theory’. We know how things work ‘in theory’, now don’t we?

The real problem with Mittens isn’t his personal income and wealth. The real problem with Mittens’ financial situation lies with the donors to his Presidential campaign. If you haven’t clicked on one link in this article, please at least click on this one. It’s a good laugh.

Game over Mittens. You’re done, you’ve been exposed. Take the money from Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, CitiGroup, and all the other MegaBanks ya scumbag. We see right through your bullshit. You’re just another puppet of the Banksters and you’re pathetic.

The End

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